The first step in saving a relationship is to determine if it is worth saving. Do you still love each other? If the answer is yes then, by any means possible, try to save it.
There are no doubt walls have built up between you. Whatever the reason is for those walls to have been built, get rid of them. If this is going to work you must both agree to start with a clean slate and just forget about what brought you here to begin with. Everything will get worked out in time.
Saving A Relationship
Time. Your relationship did not get this bad overnight and it will not get fixed overnight either. So, understand that if it is to be fixed it will take some time. The sooner you start, the sooner your relationship will be back to normal.
Try to look at the situation from your partner’s point of view. This will give you a new perspective on the problem or problems affecting things so negatively. Too often when things start to go bad, one or both people in the relationship go into what they think is survival mode and figure it is every man or woman for themselves. You stop working and thinking as a team. No relationship can survive without teamwork.
The best way to get your partner’s perspective on the relationship is to sit down with them and ask them what they think. Never be so presumptuous as to insist you know what your partner is thinking. You could be dead wrong and that would only make things worse.
So, when first inviting your partner to sit and talk about saving a relationship, make sure that any ego or pride is left at the door. Remember the saying, “Pride doth before the fall.” Make up your mind, do you want your pride or do you want your partner? You most likely cannot have both. If you choose your pride then your relationship will fall.
Set the ground rules for your talk. First, let your partner have the floor and let them get everything out on the table. Show your partner some respect and do not comment or interrupt them when they are speaking. Wait patiently for your turn and then focus only on the issues at hand. Take notes if you need to so you can respond to whatever it is they want to say.
Stay cool, calm, and collected, do not get angry at them for voicing their opinions and make sure when it is your turn they know that they should do the same. The only way this will be effective is if the hurt and anger stays at the door with the pride.
Whatever the issues are talk each one through to a solution. Do not leave anything unresolved. This may mean you must have more than one session with each other. Do not get too busy for these sessions, make appointments if you need to and stick to them. Anything that gets left behind will just fester like a splinter in your finger and pretty soon the infection will spread to the bloodstream of the relationship and your relationship will die from sepsis.
Saving a relationship takes time and effort on both parts. Taking the time and making the effort shows each other you are committed to doing what needs to be done to keep your relationship strong.
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About John Jones
Relationship Coach, speaker, and mentor. He is a master at helping others with their relationship problems. His goal is to help as many people as possible to be successful in their relationship.
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